The Lighter Side

Joe Guilbeau

Have you noticed on TV how you can order fruits in small red pills and green vegetables and tables in small green pills? What is that all about?

I want the whole banana.

The banana is one of my favorite fruits. If you hear of a banana-tasting contest, count me in

Joe Guilbeau

So, you think all this column will be about is bananas? A few years ago, we had a banana-eating weight loss diet. A morbidly obese woman became highly addicted to bananas and was eating 30 a day.

It was a “bad news, good news” story.

The bad news as that she was not losing weight, but the good news was that no one on her street could climb trees the way she did.

Those who have studied the country of origin of bananas will tell you that bananas from different countries taste different.

I like them all.

I see in the news that men can buy long shirts that hang almost to their knees. They are expensive and considered the latest fashion plate by the rich guys who could afford them.

But make no mistake: They are also used to hide all those beer bellies, seeming to exist everywhere.

On the fashion side, I see women who wear blouses with holes on their shoulders. What is that all about? I must be missing something. What do I know?

Also on TV, they advertise that this movie is coming to a theater new you. How do they know where I live? There is no movie theater near my home. I looked down the street and I didn’t see any theater there!

They say if you exercise, you’ll add five years to your life. … but you’ll spend the last five years exercising.

New footage shows UFOs swarming U.S. Navy ships. UFO is an official U.S. Air Force designation. UFOs were never spotted over Louisiana, but it is believed the Cajuns ate them all.

If you believe old stories about old soldiers fading away, try getting them into that old Army uniform.

Boudreaux: “I read in the paper about what the United States is doing these days. You know what our national language is now?

Thibodeaux? “Sure … third-grade English.

Boudreaux? “Well, Thib, here we are on our hunting trip, and layin’ down to sleep. When you look up, what do you see?

Thibodeaux: “Well, I sees thousands and thousands of litter stars!”

A SIGN OF OLD AGE: Everyone else at work dresses differently than you.

A THOUGH FOR THE DAY: “To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose is the next best.”