On the Lighter Side: Wondering, wondering

Joe Guilbeau

Many years ago, “Wondering, Wondering Who’s Kissing You” was a famous country song. Today, I use these words for my column.

We all suffer today from artificial inflation caused by Washington. I wonder how that little 5-pound bag of red potatoes knows it should cost twice as much as it did a year ago. The large amount of money Congress has spent is fueling inflation fears. I wonder.

Joe Guilbeau

Many senior citizens who paid taxes all their lives now rely on social security – a fixed income – and with high inflation rates now live in poverty.

I wonder why.

Our government should be ashamed. Because of inflation, military veterans who went to war for us now live in poverty thanks to their meager Army pensions and have to find a second job.

It makes me wonder.

I saw on a news segment on television the other day in which some elderly citizens work bagging groceries at a store. Our country should be ashamed.

I see all over television that you can order two small bottles of pills – one of fruits, one of vegetables. Now I wonder how you can get roughage and fiber.

Myself? I want steak and potatoes. I want the whole banana.

Bananas are one of my favorite fruits. Bananas that come from different countries taste different. I like them all. If you hear of a banana-tasting contest, sign me up.

Now, I see TV ads for juice from super beets. I have a background in horticulture, and I wonder how you tell a beet from a super beet.

Economists tell us we are in a major recession. I wonder if we will be in a depression by next year.

A depression is when they close the banks. Who locks up the banks? The federal government. Your money is in the bank and it’s not worth a cent.

I have reason to wonder if a full-blown depression is on the horizon. I have credentials – I lived through the Great Depression.

As for insurance, coverage on my automobile is so high that I asked my agent if his agency would insure a horse and buggy.

He said he would have to call the home office. I’m sure he wondered what to do with a horse and buggy.

Another interesting question: If I parked my buggy in a restricted area, would they have a wrecker tow my horse and buggy? I’m wondering.

Remember, if you are a good neighbor, you will have better neighbors. When you think you’ve seen it all, something else comes up.

Recently, I saw on TV a family that had a large white pig as a house pet.

I want you to believe that the pig would lay on the sofa in the same manner as a dog. Now, I wonder how the pig eats, and how it uses the bathroom.

On TV recently, I saw a new fashion trend: Sweating – of the face, the arms, shoulders, etc.

Now, I’ve wondered how to create a sweaty look. I thought about skipping the showers. Or I could do plenty of sweating by reading about inflation. That should make us all sweat.