On the Lighter Side: Perks of being a golden ager

Joe Guilbeau

Who said aging is for the birds?

It’s not nearly as bad as some would think. In fact, it has at least a few advantages.

Joe Guilbeau

Here are some of those perks:

  • In cold weather, it’s acceptable to wear your pajamas under your clothes.
  • If you’re a Cajun, it’s OK to plan your flowers in old car tires.
  • Kidnappers are not very likely to be interested in you.
  • In a hostage situation, you’re likely to be released first.
  • Life is too short to dance with ugly men.
  • You may be getting older, but you refuse to grow up.
  • People call at 9 p.m. and ask if they woke you up.
  • They let you take a nap before you sleep.
  • You can eat supper at 4 p.m.
  • You can enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
  • You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
  • It’s OK when you ride a lawnmower for transportation.
  • Nobody expects you to run anywhere.
  • You don’t have to arrive anywhere on time.
  • Your trips to the bank are no longer important.
  • You no longer have to appear as a fashion plate.
  • Your clothes have come back into style – twice!
  • You no longer try to hold your stomach, no matter who walks into a room.
  • You have found it’s not easy to be perfect – but somebody has to do it.
  • Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
  • Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
  • Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
  • You have learned to enjoy a really good slice of bread.
  • There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
  • You have plenty of time to catch up on your reading – in the bathroom.
  • You repeat yourself without saying.
  • And, remember, you’re never too old to rock and roll.

PERSONAL THOUGHTS

Is there life before coffee?

Remember, the purpose of time is to keep everything from happening at once.

In life, sometimes you have to make a pit stop, but you never have to give up the race.

Don’t forget the song “Don’t Get Around Much Anymore.”

CURRENT STORIES

I saw a 90,000-lb. whale on TV. What do I have to say about that? Pass the tartar sauce!

Have you noticed the spike in turkey prices this year? Just remember, the biggest turkeys are in Washington, D.C.