COLUMNS

On the Lighter Side: Signs that you’re now middle-aged

Joe Guilbeau

Many of us reach a certain stage in life when we question some of our old habits or start to do some things that we never would have imagined we would have done when we were younger.

Joe Guilbeau

It happens to inevitably for most of us as we get older and wiser, or at least older.

So, here’s a list of things that let you know you’re now middle-aged:

  • You need reading glasses and then you keep forgetting where you put them.
  • You try to figure out what other people are worth.
  • Everyone at work dresses differently than you.
  • You save your ties for when they come back in style.
  • You button the buttons you used to leave open.
  • Every little ache is the beginning of the end.
  • Your train of thought frequently derails.
  • You used to seek out crowds, but now you avoid them.
  • It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
  • Rather than walk over and change the channel, you’ll spend 15 minutes looking for the remote.
  • “Fifty-something” suddenly seems young.
  • You treat people with colds like they have the plague.
  • You view those with less expensive cars as common, and those with more expensive cars as showoffs.
  • You don’t have bad hair days – you have bad hair years.
  • You think your hair loss was caused by acid rain.
  • You can’t believe how ridiculous you looked just 10 years ago.
  • You can’t ask your friends to help you move anymore.
  • You stop asking your friends how their parents are doing because you’re afraid of that the answer might be.
  • You increasingly question the wisdom of having gotten that pierced ear, tatoo or gold tooth.
  • You’ve learned not to lend your credit cards to your mother-in-law.
  • Just because something seems old or old-fashioned, it doesn’t mean that it’s not still true today.

Recipe for Living

Take two heaping cups of patience.One heartful of love.Two hands of generosity.A dash of laughter.One handful of understanding.Sprinkle generously with kindness.Add plenty of faith and mix well.Spread over a period of lifetime. … And serve to everyone you meet.